19 Years of Mum's Birthday Cards

I was saving this post for my youngest son's 21st, just as I did for his older brother back in December 2021, but it wasn't meant to be. Little did I know that he would not reach 21, nor even 20. It is impossible to believe that my cards stop at 19.

Gadi died on 21st May 2022. You can read his story here. 19th January 2023 would have been his 20th birthday. Instead of making him a special card and a yummy cake, we have invited his friends and fellow soldiers to join us for a barbeque, to remember Gadi and share stories about him.

Now I will tell you all about Gadi through the cards I made him every single year of his short life. I am so happy that I carefully saved them all.

Age 1. Gadi's 1st birthday card showed a little bear holding a balloon. The bear is sitting on a block with a big number 1 on it.

Age 2. This year a big smiley lion with a beautiful red mane went on Gadi's card.

Age 3. Gadi had developed an interest in pirates. He loved dressing up in his Early Learning Centre pirate costume, so I showed a pirate with a red spotted bandana. Next to him is a skull and crossbones flag or Jolly Roger. I added an island and palm tree and X marks the spot indicating where the pirate treasure is buried.

Age 4. This year Gadi was into knights and dragons. This rather sweet looking knight is holding a large shield and sword. The fiery red dragon looks a little scary.

Age 5. It looks like Gadi was still into pirates - or perhaps highwaymen - and swords, but he was also developing an interest in animals. We once visited a hedgehog hospital in the UK, so perhaps that is why I added one to his 5th birthday card. 

Age 6. I wrote in my blog post that Gadi had been checking for weeks that I had made his 6th birthday card and that he told me exactly what should be on the card. He wanted me to show him wearing his Dracula dressing up costume, with a bat on his shoulder. Gadi was into all things scary.

Age 7. Gadi had great plans when he was 7. He wanted to be a scientist when he grew up. Not only a scientist, but a scientist who travelled to the moon and deep down under the sea, thus the spaceman and his rocket and a diver and fierce shark. He was an avid reader, loved to draw and was fascinated with the scary things in life. I added a couple of bats and a mummy to the design. He also loves the animated series Ben 10, so I showed him wearing a Ben 10 shirt and holding some 'scientific potions'.

Age 8. Football has always been THE sport in our house but at 8, Gadi had his own ideas and was passionate about the Korean martial art of Tae Kwon Do. He had a yellow belt with two very important stripes on it and the design on his birthday card showed him in action, wearing his white suit and the aforementioned belt. He was still a big reader and still loved to draw. The very scary looking 'Weeping Angel' in the top right hand corner of his card had to be included because of his interest in the science-fiction series Doctor Who. 'Mocca' the toy guinea pig popped in too!

Age 9. Gadi was very creative. He loved to draw and wrote some great short stories. But with the creativeness came messiness and there wasn't a pencil in his room which had not been gnawed. For his 9th birthday card I showed him wearing his favourite "leather" jacket, with his bullet necklace round his neck, a book in one hand and the aforementioned chewed pencil in the other. In front of him is one of his Doctor Who drawings. Cookie the hamster is perched on top of the number 9. Finally I added some coloured Lego blocks - another favourite activity - and a big pile of books.

Age 10. When Gadi turned 10 I decided to show him surrounded by his books. He would leave them all around the house and would often simply start reading a book if there happened to be one near to where he was sitting.  He has paper and pencils in front of him too, since he still loved to draw.
I also showed him barefooted on the card. Gadi was always dressed for the summer. He never seemed to feel the cold. He wore a t-shirt when it was pouring with rain and would remove his socks the minute he got home, to walk barefooted on our cold tiled floors.
His other main interest at the age of 10 was maps. He had great plans to travel the world. The National Geographic map I have shown on his card is still on the wall above his bed.

Age 11. This year was the year of the Nerf Gun. I showed my now 11 year old with his new Nerf in his hands. Little blue and orange Nerf darts are scattered around him and there is a big pile of books in the background. Gadi was still a huge reader. His drawing of a Komondor dog - or as he called it, "The Mop" - is on top of the pile of paper in front of him. A couple of pencils are lying around too.

Age 12. Gadi always really wanted a dog, so I showed him hugging one. Behind him is his new scooter.  A pile of books had to feature on the card, as did the obligatory pencils and Nerf bullets as well. Gadi was now practising Krav Maga and is dressed in his blue Krav Maga trousers and white t-shirt. He is barefooted, as he was when practising Krav Maga, but then he was almost always barefooted anyway!

Age 13. This year's card, like last years, had to be about dogs. Every day Gadi would remind us all just how much he wanted a dog. He showed us pictures of them on his phone and we would watch clips together from The Daily Puppy online. At meal times he would shuffle in his chair, "I want a dog. Let's get a dog".
I wish we had got him one.

Age 14. Gadi was obsessed with his laptop, but when I did manage to peel him off it, he was still the artistic, creative, bookworm that we loved. Once again books had to feature on his birthday card, though by this age you'd find him with a Kindle in his hand instead. His phone, laptop and headphones had to appear too, along with some pens and a pencil. He still loved to draw. New additions this year were his skinny jeans and hair gel. He used to get his hair cut more often than anyone else in the family and then spend ages styling it in front of the mirror! Finally I added a little short-legged dachshund, which was his favourite breed of dog at the time. 

Age 15. Gadi's favourite dog this year was the Golden Retriever, so that's what I put on his card. He has his Xiaomi phone in one hand and behind him is his laptop computer with one of his favourite Instagram pages, The Daily Woof, open on the screen. I also added some sushi, his Kindle and the badges of his two favourite football teams, Ironi Modi'in and Hull City. Football had begun to take over.

Age 16. When Gadi turned 16 I showed him holding an Israeli drivers L-plate in one hand and in his other hand he is holding his grey MUN folder. MUN, or Model United Nations, is an academic activity in which students can learn about diplomacy, international relations, and the United Nations. Gadi, though a bright kid, was not the most serious of students, but he really enjoyed the MUN conferences. He was even willing to dress the part and would put on a white shirt and tie for the occasion! In fact, his school has renamed their conference the YachadMUN 2023 in Memory of Gadi Isaacs. A big honour. 

Once again I included the team crests of Gadi's favourite football teams, Ironi Modi'in and Hull City, along with a football. His Xiaomi phone had to appear on the card as well, along with his Kindle and some pencils to represent the hours he spent drawing in his bedroom.
Finally, he had almost given up on asking us to get him a dog and had reverted to begging for a hamster, the pet we used to have when the boys were younger. You can see a tiny little hamster peeking out from under the Israeli L-plate.

Age 17. Gadi's 17th birthday card yet again featured dogs. He used to walk several of the neighbourhood dogs, two of his regular clients being a couple of very cute dachshunds. He often brought them round to our home for me to see them too and one of them left me a 'present' which you can see on his card! It certainly made Gadi laugh when he opened it.
When Gadi went to visit grandpa in the UK in the summer of 2019, he returned home with a Hull City jacket which then rarely came off his back. I showed him wearing the much loved jacket on his card, along with his black adidas sweatpants and the Blundstone boots that all the Israeli kids wear. The blue t-shirt was a nod towards our local football team, Ironi Modi'in. He had a guinea pig in his hand. He was still desperate for a pet.

Age 18. Gadi turned 18 when Israel was in its third lockdown and it certainly wasn't the 18th birthday he had dreamt of. He had to make do with celebrating his special birthday at home with mum and dad. The dog that appeared on his birthday card is Tofu, our neighbours' dog, who Gadi walked daily. Those two loved each other.
Gadi had passed his driving test since his last birthday and, when we were not in lockdown, liked to take dad's car out for a spin with his friends. I showed the car on his card. He is proudly pointing to the car keys. I added Ironi Modi'in's badge to his card as well. Gadi could now legally enjoy a beer with his friends, so I included an overflowing beer glass, along with his precious phone, which never left his hand.

Age 19. Gadi spent his very last birthday in the company of the Israel Defence Forces (IDF). He had enlisted back in August and was a tank driver. I showed him with short hair on his birthday card. The army required him to keep his curls short. He is holding his rifle and there is a tank behind him. I also included Ironi Modi'in's badge. Even though he was somewhat preoccupied, Gadi still managed to keep an eye on what they were doing and went to an occasional game too. Finally, I showed him against a stunning orange sunset. He had a good eye for photography and had sent us a few great shots of tanks in the desert since his service began.
Gadi loved his card and squirrelled it off to his room to place it on the shelf next to his Giyus Kal (an easy call-up) card. They are both still standing there.

Happy 20th birthday Gadi. I love you and miss you so much.

* This post has been shared on Little Things Thursday

Gadi Isaacs 2003-2022

This is an incredibly hard post to write.

On 21st May 2022 Richard and I lost our much loved 19 year old son, Gadi. Nadav lost his younger brother. Gadi made the decision to end his life after an evening with friends, an evening that began very peacefully with candle lighting and Shabbat dinner with Richard and Nadav. I was in the UK at the time, enjoying a break with my dad. Dad was due to travel back to Israel with me to see the boys, whom he hadn’t seen since before Covid began. We had many plans for the month ahead and Gadi was supposed to have a regila (one week off from the army) for the first time in 9 months. We know that he was looking forward to seeing Grandpa, with whom he was very close.

Gadi was home for the weekend from the army, having being on his base for 21 days previously. Since returning home, he had gone out for something to eat with Richard and then gone shopping with friends to buy a new shirt and aftershave. On the Thursday evening Gadi spoke at Kosher Kravi, the pre-army training course he had attended before his enlistment and shared his experiences in his usual talented way. He then spent the night in Tel Aviv with another friend who was in Israel for the year and was shortly due to return to the UK. They wanted to spend one more evening together, hitting the bars in Tel Aviv.

On Friday afternoon, he bought a large quantity of meat for a barbeque to celebrate his best friend’s birthday, planned for Saturday evening.

Everything was normal.

 

On Friday evening, after dinner, Gadi went out to the park opposite our home with a friend. It seems that he, unwisely, decided to smoke a joint with a friend. Marijuana is in the process of being legalised in Israel but is illegal for soldiers. We are almost sure that he had not smoked since he went into the army 9 months previously and have no idea why he made the decision to start again that evening. But he did. After just five minutes a policeman arrived and took Gadi and his friend to the local police station. Gadi’s friend was released because she is not yet in the army. Gadi was kept there, alone.

We have no idea what happened to him there, though Gadi later that evening told his friend that the police were aggressive and mean. We do know that they called the army and Gadi was issued with a doch (report), calling him to a meeting the following Sunday morning.

Gadi knew he was in trouble.

Afterwards he went to join his friends at one of their homes. It was now late and they were all very tired. They talked about Gadi’s problem and started checking online about the punishments he was going to receive. Google is not always the best place to go for accurate answers and it is clear that Gadi thought his punishments were going to be far greater than they really were. He and his friends then tried to watch a film but were soon falling asleep.
We know that Gadi walked straight home. He collected his army issued rifle from his bedroom and walked to our local beauty spot, Titora Hill or Giv'at ha-Titura, a 10 minute walk away. After some time he called a helpline, but they clearly failed to help him. He messaged his friend, who was asleep. At 3:30am a report was made from a member of the public who had heard a gunshot.
My youngest son – my artistic, creative, bookworm son - was gone.

Everyone who knew and loved Gadi knows how special he was. He did not enjoy school but, despite the fact that he did not work hard there, he still graduated with a relatively high bagrut (Israel's high school matriculation examination). He was accepted into the mechunanim program for gifted kids when he was younger. The program enabled him to study one day a week outside of the school framework and Gadi loved it. In High School Gadi participated and shone in the school’s MUN (Model United Nations program). He was the star pupil in Dovrei Anglit (the special English class for children who already speak/know English), simply because he was such a keen reader. His vocabulary was incredible.
This is a guest post he wrote on my blog when he was just 11 years old.

As well as a writer, Gadi was also a wonderful illustrator. I have files full of the many drawings he created. He also enjoyed taking photographs. Gadi loved dogs and took his dog walking responsibilities seriously. When he was younger, he was an active member of a youth organisation and had many good friends from there. He loved watching football and had a passion for travel. For many years he had a map of the world on the wall above his bed. It is still there. He had great plans to see the world after the army.
Gadi was also a very typical teenager and, when home and not busy with his many friends, he spent a lot of time in his room with the door shut. I didn’t love it but believed – and still believe - that it was quite normal.
Why am I sharing this? Since his passing I have sadly heard many rumours that Gadi had been depressed and had been smoking marijuana for years.
We are as certain as we can be that Gadi was not depressed. He had been accepted into an elite unit in the army and, though it was hard, was doing well. The IDF (Israel Defence Forces) does not accept soldiers into elite units – or into the army at all – if there is any sign of mental health problems or depression. He passed many tests and interviews to reach the position he was in.
As part of his training, he underwent shavua milchama (war week). 4 soldiers in a very confined space do not leave the tank at all for 5 days. There is no way that anyone who has mental health issues would be able to hide it. We, his family, never saw any signs at all of mental health problems. Neither did any of his many friends. In other words, we are convinced that Gadi's death was due to an incredibly unlikely sequence of events on that one catastrophic evening.

Yes he had smoked marijuana with friends on and off in recent years. We did not like it or approve of it and he was not allowed to smoke at home. But so many people – both young and old – do it. It is a common sight – and smell – here. Gadi was no different to any other young person who was smoking in the parks of Modi’in that night.
We miss Gadi every moment of the day. We think of him and remember the joy - and sometimes chaos - he brought to our lives. If you knew Gadi, we would love to receive stories from you. If you didn’t know him and perhaps like to hear a little gossip, please for Gadi’s sake, think before you repeat it. Our talented youngest son has been taken from us in the absolute worst way and all we can do now is tell people what happened that horrific night and make them aware of just how amazing Gadi really was.

* This post has been shared on Wordless Wednesday (on Tuesday).

Thirteen

My youngest son just celebrated his 13th birthday. Many of you will realise that that means he will very soon be celebrating his Bar Mitzvah. There is very little talk of anything else in our house at the moment! I have lots to show you pertaining to his Bar Mitzvah, but this post is about his birthday. This years card, like last years, had to be about dogs. 

Every day he reminds us all just how much he wants a dog. He shows us pictures of them on his phone and we watch clips together from The Daily Puppy. At meal times he shuffles in his chair, "I want a dog. Let's get a dog" he says.
I think he's serious.

Gadi already has a dog walking job. He has also recently taken to visiting the local shelter weekly to take one or two dogs there out for a walk. He's too young to do it on his own though. Mister Handmade in Israel has to go with him. He doesn't seem to find it too much of a hardship.

Gadi, you make me happy, proud and a little bit crazy, all at the same time! It's been a long year of preparations but the end is nigh! Happy Birthday to my smart, creative, book-loving, scooter-crazy, and dog-mad 13 year old. Keep calm, and keep learning. You've got 11 days to go!

Twelve

The very first blog post that I wrote about my youngest son was when he was celebrating his sixth birthday. Back then he was into all things scary, and was dressed as Dracula on his birthday card. Now he's twelve and he really wants a dog. His interests - and my style - have evolved over the years, but also much remains the same. He was once into Tae Kwon Do, now he practises Krav Maga. He's always been a voracious reader and books have featured on almost all of his birthday cards, along with pencils and drawing materials, and recently Nerf bullets too. This year's card also featured many of those items.

I have shown my son hugging a cute dog. We don't actually have a dog, so this one was not modelled on any dog that we know. It's just a dog. He doesn't care anymore what type of dog we get. HE JUST WANTS A DOG! Behind him is his new MGP Pro Scooter. This scooter is going to enable him to do all kinds of acrobatic scooters moves. Apparently. A pile of books had to feature on the card, as did the obligatory pencils and Nerf bullets as well. Gadi is dressed in his blue Krav Maga trousers and white t-shirt. He is barefoot, as he is when he practises Krav Maga, but then he is almost always barefoot anyway. Brrrr!

Some time ago I developed an interest in papercutting and my creative son enjoys it too. We often look at papercutting websites together and he once spotted this Watership Down papercut and asked whether I could make him one. Now, I know that there are huge copyright issues here, but this is a cut I made just for him, for his bedroom wall, okay? He was very pleased with it. It seems that not only do I now make all the members of my family a special card and cake for their birthdays, but they also want a papercut picture to add to their collection too!

Happy Birthday to my crazy, creative, stubborn, lovable and scary six twelve year old! I am pleased that you enjoyed the trifle and cupcakes I made for your big day. In fact, I think it is fair to say that the rest of the family enjoyed them too!
We got up to something really exciting to mark my son's special day. Just wait till you read about it in a future blog post...

Eighteen

My youngest son turned 18 last week and it certainly wasn't the 18th birthday he had dreamt of! Israel is currently in its third lockdown, so he celebrated his special birthday at home with mum and dad! When I think back to how I celebrated my 18th birthday - at Romeo and Juliet's in Hull, a nightclub which has long since disappeared - it does feel rather sad, but we are all healthy and safe at home, and Mister Handmade in Israel and I have received both of our Covid-19 vaccinations. It's all good.

Eighteen seems pretty old but then I do have one son already serving his compulsory service in the Israeli army. His younger brother will be finishing school this summer and will start his service shortly afterwards. Israel has just started to vaccinate the kids who, in the coming months, will be doing their bagrut, Israel's high school matriculation examination. He received his first shot a couple of days ago and will hopefully be able to prepare for his exams in some way, even though he hasn't been inside his school for almost a year!

My son has received a birthday card made by me ever since he turned 1. The first card of his that I showed on this blog was from his 6th birthday. It featured Dracula and bats! In recent years his cards seem to have been mostly dog themed. We never did get him a dog and probably should have done, but he is still passionate about them and I guess will one day have a dog of his own. The dog that appears on his 18th birthday card is Tofu, our neighbour's dog, who Gadi walks daily. In fact Tofu was with us when my son was opening his birthday cards, so Tofu was shown his paper portrait, above, and it seemed to meet with approval 😉.

My son has passed his driving test since his last birthday and when we are not in lockdown, likes to take Mister Handmade in Israel's car for a spin with his friends. I have shown the car on his card and he is proudly pointing to the car keys. He supports our local football team, Ironi Modi'in F.C., so I added the club badge to his card as well. Of course he's 18 now, so he can legally enjoy a beer with his friends. I included an overflowing beer glass, along with his precious phone which never leaves his hand.

Even at 18 it seems that he was very happy with his customised card handmade by Mum. The box of boutique beers that we had delivered went down very well too and of course there was cake. Writing all of this down has made me realise that it wasn't such a bad birthday after all!

* This post has been shared on Little Things Thursday, Creatively Crafty Link Party, Thursday Favorite Things, Craft Schooling Sunday and All Seasons.